Research supports it: One study of doctors and patients found that eye contact was "significantly related to patient perceptions of clinician empathy."Īnother study of public speakers found "participants were more likely to believe statements by a speaker looking at them directly, compared to a speaker with averted gaze." Surprise! Ask the right questions. I cannot overstate how important eye contact is as a means of showing empathy and building deep emotional ties. ![]() Make sure your attention is 100% not on yourself. "Quiet your inner monologue, set your device aside, and draw your attention to the other person," says Ximena Vengoechea, author of "Listen Like You Mean It: Reclaiming the Lost Art of True Connection." Make it clear to the other speaker, and to those watching and listening, that you are focused on the other speaker. Here are three strategies that I've found most useful: Stay present. It may sound like a no-brainer, but in my experience, so many people - smart people! - are simply bad at it. The goal is to focus on their views and to understand where they are coming from. This is about connecting with the speaker and trying to see the world through their eyes. Some of the most successful people on the planet are fastidious notetakers.īritish billionaire Richard Branson, who says he goes through dozens of notebooks a year, wrote about a conference in London where he shared the stage with Bill Gates.Īccording to Branson, as Gates "made a closing speech … he pulled some pieces of paper out of his pocket." 2. ![]() Both can be bolstered by good old-fashioned note-taking. Take notes.Ĭritical listening benefits from a sharp mind and a good memory. By listening critically to your opponent and being ready to catch fallacious or false claims, you can prepare zinger-like responses, and win your argument. It damages your credibility and standing with an audience to be seen behaving in a rude or dismissive way.įocus laser-like on the task at hand. Clear your mind.ĭon't daydream or snooze as others around you are speaking and advocating. You should be confident in your own arguments, yes, but also remain open-minded enough to see where an opponent is strong or where you may have fallen short. Listen for valid points or clever lines that you'll then need to address or concede in your own remarks. When you're arguing against an opponent, do not automatically assume that everything they're saying is wrong, silly or dumb. Here's how to be a critical listener when your opponent is making their case: Keep an open mind. Or when your boss is going through what was wrong in a report you wrote. You need to be a critical listener when your teacher is giving you feedback on an essay you wrote. "Is it true or false?" "Does it make sense or not?" "Can I trust or believe what I am hearing?" This requires consciously absorbing, comprehending and evaluating the information given to you by a speaker in real-time.
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